


Convalescence

by lux_brumalis



Series: Healing [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Beauxbatons, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Ex-Auror reader, F/M, Hogwarts Era, Mental Instability, One-Sided Attraction, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, at first, the slowest of slow burns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:27:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29853939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lux_brumalis/pseuds/lux_brumalis
Summary: During the first war, you had worked for the ministry. Now you were working to hold yourself together in the aftermath. In an attempt at new normalcy, you applied for a position at Hogwarts. Placing yourself in the direct line of one Severus Snape, someone whose personality threatens to pull you back into the darkness... or could you pull each other into the light?
Relationships: Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape, Severus Snape/Reader
Series: Healing [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2194857
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	Convalescence

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at any fanfic so go easy on me. I don't know how long this will end up being and I might do multiple series to follow the events of the books/movies. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> Note: There is no editor involved.

_The air was stagnant with death. The clouds carrying the spirling imagery of a snake swirling through a skull weighing heavily above the dilapidated grey barn. The quiet cries whispering into your eardrums. You were covered in the blood of innocence while the rest of the wizarding world was out celebrating. The end of the first wizarding war wasn’t as tidy as the ministry would like to claim._

_No; you and your colleagues remained elbow deep in death and despair long after Voldemort's demise._

The sheets were damp with your sweat as you rolled onto your side curling inwards. It was the same dream as always. The grey eyes looking back at you, begging for mercy. A loud boom ending the horrific visions; jolting you awake. Your lungs gasped for air as you tried to gain purchase onto reality. Your hands and feet were numb as your chest felt disturbingly tight. 

3:52. Eyes focused on the clock on your empty side table. You had seven hours and eight minutes before you’d be on your way to Hogwarts. You watched as the seconds ticked by. Hogwarts. It would be a fresh start. A place to be away from the ghosts that haunted you down the halls of the Ministry of Magic. 

You lay there allowing the shadows to move across the room. Allowing peace to settle across your body. Finally rising from bed as the sun began to peek above the Diagon Alley skyline.

Dressing in a simple black dress, with a high neckline. Perfectly professional and the right amount of dressiness that would be needed to attend the September first feast as a new member of the faculty. 

Belongings in hand and the last month's pay left along with a flowery letter to your old landlord you left your apartment for the last 10 years. Everything you cared to keep stashed safely in your luggage at your side. As well as everything that you would rather have kept hidden away. 

You had only bordered the Hogwarts Express once before your interview. Never attending the historical wizarding school. Your parents had elected to send you to France, to keep you away from the bad politics brewing back home. If only it had been that simple.

Flashes of warped grey wood. Breath. Clouds swirling. Count to five. 

The rambunctious group of red-headed children brought you back to the present. The luggage trolley of two almost identical boys almost mowing you down saved you from your mind. Your hand gripping tightly to the case by your side. 

"Sorry!"

They bellowed in unison as they whizzed past you towards the train, another boy and his dark-haired friend trailing shortly behind. Their mother shouted after them before muttering an exhausted apology as she and her husband navigated their daughter after them.

Your lips tighten into an understanding smile and you dipped your head at her. Trying your best to convey 'its all right' with the motions of your body.

Once upon a time, you had wished for nothing more than a family that large, that wonderfully boisterous. It was now a pipe dream that seemed so out of reach. You could barely hold yourself together let alone care for a tiny person. You were barely holding onto your own sanity by a thread. A thin rotted bit of silk that seemed as if it were on the verge of snapping. 

You followed the ginger stampede onto the train, envious of the tender love on display. Passing them you worked on finding yourself an empty compartment. 

Admonishing yourself as you slid the door shut behind you. You should've slept more. Your eyes were feeling heavy and tired already and it was only five to eleven.

Before settling in you removed your jacket, draping it over your body in a makeshift blanket. Allowing your head to lean against the window as you waited for the train to depart. Perhaps your talent to sleep on public transportation would allow you a few more moments of uninterrupted slumber.

The train shuttered forward, its whistle bellowing as your eyes were already getting heavy. You spotted the short round woman from before, her husband and daughter standing next to her waving joyously at the train. You couldn't help the small smile the happy scene caused on your face. It was the last sight as you drifted off to a rare dreamless sleep.

The rather large thud of a tie meets the steel of the wheel of the train rousing you a few hours later. The light outside had dimmed considerably. Your joyous giggles from students filled the spaces outside your compartment. A glance at your watch told you the trip was almost over. 

You tided your hair and straightened yourself out. Pulling out your letter of hire, glancing over the instructions. You were simply to meet a member of the staff in the station masters' quarters. They would show you to your rooms and then to dinner. You knew the few people from the school you had met would be rather busy ushering students around. Your nerves get the best of you as you thought of meeting a stranger.

You watched as the Highlands slipped by through your window. The sun setting over the grassy Knolls. Professor Reynolds, professor of Alchemy and assistant to the Matron. You smirked at your dual titles. Even though you knew most of the time there wouldn't be enough interest in alchemy for there to be classes to teach. You couldn't wait nonetheless. The change was in the air for you and it was electric. 

It was dark by the time the train had rolled into the station. You wasted no time gathering your things, attempting to beat the children off the train. Your feet carrying you to the station masters' quarters with quick efficiency. You knocked three times on the door. Taking in the peeling paint on the aged door as you waited to be let in. Suspicious students eyeing you as they hurried by. 

The door swung open with a creak. The wood shuttering at the abrupt force applied to it. Dark intense eyes peered back at you. Everything about the man in the doorway was dark and intense. He took you in with an intrigued expression. Though his face didn’t let much else pass through it. His robes were like a blanket of darkness enveloping him. 

"Professor Reynolds, I presume."

He said, his voice deep with a melodic cadence reaching your core. He was intimidating to you—an adult—you could only imagine how he made children feel. All you could manage was a polite nod before you offered him a hand.

"(Y/n) Reynolds, a pleasure to meet you…" 

He reluctantly gripped your hand with strangely gentle firmness. Giving it a small shake. Fiery eyes never leave yours for even a beat.

"Professor Severus Snape.”

His hand dropping yours before offering you an arm. 

“We don’t want to be late.” 

He offered you a callous explanation. You tentatively slipped a hand into the crook, bracing yourself for the apparition. You could feel yourself fold inwards and then stretch out. The world swirling around you before slamming back to normal. You'd never get used to being a ride-along for an apparition.

You held on to him to allow yourself to come back to earth. Leaning slightly on him while the world shifted back into place. Giving the stiff man a sheepish look as you released his arm. His eyebrow quirked upwards at you before he cleared his throat.

"This way to your chambers."

His tone betraying no emotion as he twirled dramatically. His crisp robes flutter around him. It made him seem simultaneously graceful and silly. A wry smirk spread as you followed after his long strides.

"Unfortunately your dual positions have left us unable to find you suitable living arrangements with easy access to both your classroom and the hospital ward." 

He explained as he ushered you swiftly through the empty castle halls. It was truly a sight to behold, Beaxbaton was elegant. The sort of place where the muggles would film a fairy tale if they had the chance. While Hogwarts was entirely something else.

The dark grey of the traditional castle stones felt steeped with history. The gothic style architecture was something to be admired as you studied the beautifully made windows you passed by on your way to the dungeons. The candles flickering on the walls added to the haunting yet comforting ambiance of the castle halls. The walk seemed shorter than it truly was. The only sounds between you being the fluttering of his robes and the clicking of your heels.

"To your left is my office and quarters. Next to it the potions classroom and on the other side will be our shared stores. I keep very thorough records of its contents and I expect you to follow my system perfectly Professor Reynolds."

His tone was harsh as his eyes slit slightly in a warning to you. It was obvious this man had no intention of befriending you. With a lithe and graceful motion of his hand, he gestured to the door across from his.

"That. Is your office and quarters, next to your classroom.”

You turned to look at the door, groaning internally that the professor closest to you was someone so cold and unwelcoming. You looked at him in an attempt to thank him for showing you the way. You had only opened your mouth when he interrupted you. 

"I will say this only once, Reynolds. Just because we are neighbours—and our respective fields intersect—does not mean I am inclined to be your 'buddy'. Our relationship will remain strictly professional and that is it. I need no friends. Though I will show you the supply logs and how the closet is organized tomorrow at six before classes… if that's not too early for you."

His remarks were rude and somehow managed to hurt you. While there was something behind his grace and sharp features that had you physically drawn to this man. His tone and overall demeanour had you recoiling. You couldn't help the firm line your mouth had been pulled into. You resisted the urge to admonish the man in front of you.

"That shall do just fine Professor."

That was all you could muster, as you continued your grim stare down. There was absolutely no way you were going to be attempting to befriend the potions master. You needed more light, not a man who was seemingly engulfed in an everlasting shroud of darkness and contempt.

His remarks were snide and callous. While there was something behind his grace and sharp feature that had you physically drawn to this man. His tone and overall demeanour had you recoiling. You couldn't help the firm line your mouth had been pulled into. You resisted the urge to admonish the man in front of you.

"That shall do just fine Professor."

That was all you could muster, as you continued your grim stare down. There was absolutely no way you were going to be attempting to befriend the potions master. You needed more light, not a man who was seemingly engulfed in an everlasting shroud of darkness and contempt.

"Very well. I'll give you a couple of moments to set your things inside and—" 

He eyed your dress with a brow raised before removing a very full keyring and handing it to you.

"Change into your robes."

The comment slightly irked you, you glanced down at your attire. It wasn't scandalous by any means, while more fashionable than the average professor's clothes. You had intended to pull over the Velvety almost black plum robes you bought—as a self-congratulation gift on the new job—to add a layer of professor-Esque likeness to your appearance. You huffed a quick 'of course' to him, tacking on that you wouldn't be long before unlocking your door.

You stalked through the office and into your private chambers. Tossing your case onto the couch and with hurried hands opened it and accio'd your robes. You slid on the soft fabric and pinned the front together with a plain pin with the Ombrelune house sigil adorned to its silver face. Before leaving again you glanced into the mirror on the wall smoothing any flyaways and taking in the eye bags weighing heavily below your eyes. You winced at the thought that you already looked tired. First impressions were everything, even for children. Clearing your mind you took a deep breath before rejoining your pale companion.

"Shall we."

You said locking your door with a pleasant emotionlessness, a stark contrast to the unamused huff you had given him as you left him. He eyed you wearily before nodding in agreement. You hadn't walked far before he pulled something from deep within his robes again. Merlin had used a bottomless enchantment on his own clothes. You thought, eyeing his clothing. As he held a piece of folded parchment to you.

"I forgot to hand this to you before. A map of the castle in case you get lost."

You both kept walking as the handoff happened. You had immediately packed the map without so much as a glance at its contents.

"Thank-you."

You offered him a pleasant smile as you reached the doors of the dining hall. His only response was a low hum. The students were just starting to trickle in as you both entered. Only three seats were empty, without knowing what seat was appropriate to take you sat beside a man in a purple turban who you were going to use as a buffer between you and one Severus Snape.

He seemed positively delighted that you had chosen to sit next to him. His head swivelling instantly to look at you. 

"H-h-hello. I'm P-p-professor Quirinus Quirrel. The D-d-defense against the d-d-dark arts in-instructor." 

He awkwardly bowed his head towards you but gave you a light smile. You weren't able to respond because he had pressed through his stutter to continue. 

"I um—h-heard you we-were an Auror d-during the war."

The statement caused you to squeeze your hand tightly. Your knuckles turning white under the table. You hated discussing your work during the war. What you had been thrust into upon returning to your motherland. 

"Sort of. I was mostly a medic and studied things related to alchemy. It wasn't terribly fascinating."

You offered up a sliver of truth to your new colleague. Your eyes moved to look at the potions professor. His face was like an emotionless stone carving; the only thing giving away his mild interest was one of his perfectly thick brows arched above his eyes as he took in your words.

The stuttering professor looked as if he were about to say something more. Ask for deeper information about your time in the ministry. Before the headmaster stood and welcomed this year's new students. The large entrance doors opening to reveal the woman who had been present at your interview. Professor McGonagall. Behind her followed the nervous young faces of the various first years. You couldn't help join in the cheerful clapping as they made their way up towards the front.

The two men who had their attention on you twisted to look closer at the first years. Both inspecting the bespectacled youth standing next to a familiar shock of red hair. It was now that you were staring at the blue-eyed young man you realized it was no other than Harry Potter. The boy who lived. A twinge of worry hit you, hopefully, this wasn't a sign of things to come. His presence eliciting bubbling anxiety in you.

You watched the group nervously as they were sorted into their houses. Clapping politely with each student's sorting. It wasn't until Harry Potter was sorted that you allowed the breath you were unaware you were holding go. Dumbledore went through his announcements before turning to you with a twinkle in his eye.

"Lastly, join me in welcoming a new member of the staff. For those of you lucky enough to sign up for Alchemy this year she'll be your professor, and for those of you unlucky enough to end up in the hospital wing."

He paused pointedly looking at the two identical boys from the station, causing the children to erupt in giggles. 

"You may also find her aiding Madame Pomfrey in her spare time. Please join me in giving a kind welcome to Professor Reynolds."

You stood awkwardly at your name, mustering what you'd hope was a kind smile as you curtsied Beauxbatons style to the students polite clapping. As you sat down Dumbledore joined the table but not before unleashing the ravaged school children into a delectable feast.

"I do hope Severus wasn't too terrible an escort this evening. He can be quite abrasive, I would have seen you here myself had I not an endless list of things to do."

McGonagall offered to you sweetly as she sat beside you in the empty chair. On her other side, Dumbledore was currently engaged with an otherworldly woman in robes that looked like stars. You glanced over to your escort who was deep in conversation with the DADA professor. 

"Thank–you for asking professor McGonagall. He was an adequate sort of company, I've definitely had my share of worse escorts in my life." 

You chuckled lightly, as you sipped the pumpkin juice in front of you before tucking into your own meal. The older woman looked over before chuckling affectionately.

"Please. I'm not your Professor, feel free to call me Minerva."

She reached over giving your hand a gentle pat sending an equally as gentle smile over to you. 

"I do hope you two get along. The man needs someone who he enjoys spending time with other than I and Dumbledore."

Her comment was almost so quiet that if you weren't presently engaged in conversation with her you might have missed it over the joyous reunions happening at the tables in front of you. She quickly slid into a different much louder conversation without missing a beat. Asking you about your time at Beauxbatons, which drew the attention of Quirrel. Who began asking you about the school, alchemy and what you knew about Nicholas Flamel.

You stood with the students at the end of dinner. Watching happily as the first years skipped after their house prefects. Watching them filled you with a gentle calmness, it gave you hope for the future. England's wizarding world was slowly healing its wounds. The calm reverie interrupted by Snape clearing his throat. 

"I'll show you back, just for tonight."

He tacked on, just in case his obvious attempts to push you away earlier weren't a sign that the man had no intention to coddle you.

You decided to avoid being antagonistic back, thinking of Minerva's words. He needed a friend. Sure he didn't want one but the sallow-faced man needed one. You swallowed your pride and offered him what you had hoped was an agreeable smile back. 

"Thank you. And thank you for tonight in general Professor."

You offered an olive branch between you. Your sudden gentleness had him surprised, but his quick glance at the retreating figure of Minerva McGonagall was a hint that he knew what the woman had whispered to you earlier that night. It only added to his annoyance.

"Come along."

He gruffly parsed out, well as gruff as his melodic voice could 'gruff out'. Twirling in that dramatic fashion once more, striding ahead not waiting to see if you'd follow him like a lost puppy. 

Which you did, a small amount of humour evident on your face as you practically chased him through the castle and into the dungeons. His good night was terse and wasn't allowed to linger as he slammed the door behind him. Your annoyance and impatience with the man seeping back through the humour you'd held only seconds ago. How could someone be so unagreeable. 

Your eyes roll as you unlock your door. Sighing as you looked around the room. It was impersonal. All your things still lingered in the unpacked chest. Perhaps you'd keep them there, out of sight out of mind. The threats that plagued you threatening to keep you up all night. Until you slide your hands into the pockets of the robe feeling the slip of paper you'd tucked in there. Pulling it out with curiosity. The map to the castle. 

Opening it up you couldn't help the chuckle that you let loose. It was beautifully hand-drawn, with a strange amount of detail. The writing was perfectly slanted cursive, the quillwork was, to say the least perfect. Your spaces and important places of note were circled in red and labelled. Suggestions for getting to and from different areas in the castle laid out before you as well.

Numbers were written on certain doors, one starting with your office. You pulled out your keyring with deep curiosity. Each key had a corresponding number etched into it. At the bottom of the map a single sentence. 

"With this map, you shouldn't find the need to ask anyone for directions. -S.Snape" 

For a man so set on being alone, he was surprisingly thoughtful. You smirked a little more at the map. Imagining the grumpy man across the hall slaving over such a perfect map, all with the intention of avoiding having to show you around. It was perfectly outrageous. You thought about it as you lay in bed, you would have to thank him. 


End file.
